Douglas A. Burleson
Graduate Student
University of Massachusetts Amherst
dburleso@educ.umass.edu

Posted: November 2005     Student Affairs Online, vol. 6 no. 4 - Summer 2005

When I was a sophomore in college I would go on Gay.com. They were like the first gay people I had ever talked to. It really meant a lot to me, because prior to that, when I was really young, the only gay person I ever knew of was my mom's hairstylist, and he died of AIDS. So I would associate those two things as one, instead of two independent things.

- Rob, Manhunt contestant, as quoted on gay.com¹


As I read the existing body of literature on identity development theory ( e.g. Cass, 1979; D'Augelli, 1994; Cross, 1995) I cannot help but feel that many of the theorists, even when updating their works, are ignoring the influence that technology may have on certain forms of identity development. Specifically, I am thinking of homosexual identity development and the influence that technology has had on the coming-out processes of many young gay males. While I am willing to concede that other forms of development, such as racial, cognitive, or moral development, may not be as impacted by technology, I feel that homosexual identity development may now be inextricably tied to it. The opening quote from this paper points to the poignancy that the online gay community has come to have in the lives of many gay men.

Previous research has found that the gay male culture has embraced the technological revolution to a greater extent than any other cultural group (Gamson, 2003). The popular website, PlanetOut.com boasts over 585,000 profiles (personal ads). Further, one can log onto Gay.com, the partner to to PlanetOut.com, at almost any hour, of any day and find at least 30,000 people logged into the chat rooms. It is my belief that the evolution and predominant use of this technology is a direct result of the existing culture of homophobia prevalent in the United States and the rest of the world. As young gay men grow up in our society and come to realize that they may be different from the heterosexual norm, they also must come to terms with the fact that their particular form of difference is widely considered to be morally wrong. Unlike other differences, homosexuality is criticized and demonized by members of nearly every religious, racial, and cultural group (Dilley, 2002; Rhoads, 1994). This places an extra added pressure on people who want to begin to explore their sexuality, forcing many to do so secretively and privately.

It is this societal pressure that I believe has led to the proliferation of gay and gay-themed websites available on the World Wide Web. If the fear of public exploration of sexuality is too great, the Internet allows for a safer way for those dealing with their sexual identity to speak with others like themselves who have already gone through the coming out process or who are experiencing similar issues (Gauntlett, 2000; Woodland, 2000).

Based on my personal experiences with Internet exploration of gay life, I have outlined a model of Gay Male Identity Development that specifically takes into account the effect and influence of the Internet. The purpose of this paper is to show how influential the Internet has been on the coming out process of many gay men. Furthermore, this paper seeks to update and enhance the currently existing body of homosexual identity development theory. Finally, this paper aims to propose certain steps that colleges and universities may take in order to utilize Internet resources to better serve gay male students.


Theoretical Foundations

In developing my theory I was influenced by the work of the two major homosexual identity theorists, Vivienne Cass (1979) and Anthony D'Augelli (1991, 1994). It would be impossible to consider any new theory without examining the work of these two theorists and how their theories have affected the idea of homosexual identity development. In fact, my theory is less a brand new theory and more an adaptation and modernization of the existing theories.

I do not believe that my stages have to occur at a given point in a person's life nor do they have to occur by a given time. In that respect my theory is like that of D'Augelli: a life-span model. What I have taken from D'Augelli (1994) is the belief that "[homosexuals] are not passive recipients of social history, but shape circumstances and contexts as well" (p. 318). It is within this context that I believe gay men have developed their own online communities, even in the face of the prevailing views of homosexuality as immoral.

In my model, I do define and prioritize stages and claim that a person must progress through my stages linearly. This is far more in line with the stage model presented by Vivienne Cass. While Cass begins her stages at a later point than I do (First Awareness), she does take her theory one step beyond mine. Cass' final stage encompasses a total acceptance of self separate from your sexual identity, however I do not include such a stage as I feel this stage is not one that might be enhanced or influenced by the online community (Cass, 1979). So, on the whole, I feel that my model is a middle ground between the theories presented by Cass and D'Augelli.

My theory's stages are also very similar in title and description to those of William Cross' (1995) in his Model of Psychological Nigrescence. Cross' model especially coincides well with my proposed stages in that he begins from a point of an unawareness of difference or racial identity and moves through stages of first awareness, acceptance, and reintegration into society. I find that this correlation is valuable as it shows commonality between different types of identity development that have very different meanings and manifestations.


The Model

My model, outlined below, consists of six stages through which people may progress as they develop a sexual identity. These stages are linear in that each stage must be at least partially completed prior to moving to the next. People do not skip stages though they may be in coinciding stages at the same time, especially at Stages 5 and 6. I have resisted the urge to predict at which age people will be in each stage as I believe that sexual identity, for the reasons explained above, is something that people may deal with at various ages though I do hold that a majority of men will deal with these issues between the ages of 17 and 24. As I have experienced, one could progress through all stages in less than a year or may never complete all of them.

Stage 1: Pre-Encounter

In this stage people are not yet aware of their sexuality. They have had no exposure to alternative lifestyles or have not made the connection between themselves and the homosexual men and women they have encountered. They still consider themselves heterosexual and possibly are active in the pursuit of members of the opposite sex. Stage 2: Initial Awareness

This stage represents the moment of first awareness of sexuality. At this point the person has begun to question his heterosexual identity. He may withdraw from his heterosexual relationships, but may still have stigma surrounding what it means to be homosexual. He begins to think of himself in terms of his homosexual identity and begins to passively explore this identity. Fear, shame, and uncertainty are very common of individuals in this stage.

Stage 3: Logging On

At this stage the person is not yet comfortable enough to explore his identity in a public setting. Instead he seeks out a safer, more anonymous outlet for exploration: the online gay community. In doing so he is seeking reassurance and validation of his sexual identity. At this stage, exploration is done through chat rooms and online magazines. He may also explore pornographic websites as a way of confirming physical attraction. The person uses non-verbal online conversation as a way to meet people and ask questions about being homosexual. The online environment is seen as safe and free from the stresses of interpersonal contact. It is used as a testing ground prior to making the move to in-person contact.

Stage 4: Initial Contact

As the individual becomes more comfortable with online interactions they become more emboldened to begin face-to-face interactions with other homosexual males. At this stage, equal amounts of time will be spent continuing to build relationships online and beginning to move those same relationships from cyberspace to reality. The individual will begin to make plans to meet those with whom he has developed online relationships. However, such plans will not always be shared openly with friends or family members. This is more of a private confirmation for the individual. He is not yet ready to share his sexuality with others around him.

Stage 5: Personal Acceptance

It is in this stage that the individual finally comes to terms internally with their sexual identity. After exploring their sexuality both online and through personal contact, they are ready to accept themselves to be homosexual. They embrace the homosexual culture and begin to be more open to experiences. They continue to date and may develop their first relationship of substance, while also continuing to frequent online chat rooms as a way to continue to meet new people and potentially serve as a resource to other men dealing with coming out. Being homosexual becomes a source of pride for the person.

Stage 6: Identity Pride

This final stage could also be referred to as coming out. It is at this point that the individual has become comfortable enough with himself to begin sharing his sexual identity with those closest to him. Any past fear or shame of being gay has dissipated and the individual feels perfectly comfortable to openly discuss and display his sexuality. This does not mean that all people will be accepting of his identity, but that he no longer fears this possibility.

Limitations

Just as with any theory, mine certainly has limitations. The first and most glaring is that my theory is limited in its applicability to men who while exploring their sexual identity have access to online technology. However, such access, especially personal and private access, is limited by social and economic status. Even many students in college may not be able to afford to provide their own computer for private Internet access. This would make it nearly impossible for them to participate in the online gay community unless they do so from a shared computer source which would eliminate the safety that I feel is so important in this exploration. My theory also would not be applicable throughout the world, because many nations are far behind the United States and other industrialized nations in access to technology. Additionally, my theory may be found to be geographically sensitive regarding urban/rural environments. Though this would require more in depth study, I hypothesize that gay men and women in urban settings may find more acceptance than those in rural and suburban settings and therefore may seek out the online community less frequently. Finally, my theory does not account for bisexual males. Bisexual men's experiences are very unique and would potentially follow a far different developmental model, especially if the bisexual man is active in a heterosexual relationship.

Application

Traditional methods employed by college administrators in helping to provide an open and welcoming environment for students to question their sexual identities are certainly valuable. The use of posters, safe space/zone stickers, and other such passive, yet visible materials are a great way to inform students that they can feel comfortable discussing sexuality issues with administrators. Student group meetings and open houses hosted by GLBT offices also are great methods for creating a positive environment on a college campus. However, these materials and activities may only be of value to students in the later stages of their development (stages 4 or 5). I believe there are other ways that a university can also reach out to those students who may not yet be ready for such open discussion or exploration of their identity: those in the middle stages of their development. If we agree that students are increasingly using the Internet to explore their sexuality, then there is no reason that universities should not be offering these students web-based services to help them through their process.

For those students in earlier stages, and even those in the later stages of my theory, I think it is important for the university to make many resources available through the campus web page. As students seek out materials related to their sexual identity, they may explore what other gay people at their own institution are doing. By having easy to find links to gay student group pages and gay student services offices, these students will have readily available to them information on students dealing with, or who have dealt with, similar coming-out issues. A listing of faculty and staff who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or ally would also be of great help to these students so that if they decide that they want to speak to someone they have a list to reference. With such resources available, students may choose to become involved in these groups instead of continuing their sexuality development through online sources. The sites also have the potential to normalize homosexuality for these students.

I also would propose, though it may be met with resistance on many campuses, that administrators provide some form of chat function through their web sites as well. This could be as formal as a chat with the head of the gay student services office or as informal as a free chat room. Room offerings would not only have to be limited to gay students, as many students dealing with myriad issues could benefit from similar chat rooms. I envision rooms for students dealing with racial issues, religious issues, and issues with general university practices among many others. The possibilities for this are great and would potentially lead to better community involvement by keeping students "in-house" as opposed to having them seek off-campus outlets for their questions. Think of the impact that such resources may have had on Rob, whose quote opened this article.

Conclusion

As technology continues to advance and the current political climate for homosexuals in the United States continues to deteriorate, I feel that we will continue to see high participation in online communities by gay men. The online community will continue to be the only outlet that some people may have to explore their sexuality without fear of persecution. With this in mind, it is important for student affairs professionals to be aware of the unique situations that our gay students encounter on a daily basis. We must strive to make our universities and colleges accepting and inclusive of the views of gay students. We must advocate for change to policies that continue to marginalize these students and be an active voice within the administration for the concerns of these students. If we hope to continue to diversify our institutions, we must be willing to take on these challenges so that our institutions will come to value all types of difference including sexual orientation.

Notes

1. The above quote was taken from an interview given by reality show contestant Rob to Gay.com interviewer Jenny Stewart. The interview was conducted after Rob was runner-up on the Bravo Network's male model search show, Manhunt. (See An interview with Manhunt's Rob. Retrieved November 30, 2004 from http://www.gay.com/entertainment/interview.html?sernum=924

References

Cass, V.C. (1979). Homosexual identity formation: Testing a theoretical model. Journal of Homosexuality, 4(3), 219-235.

Cross, W. E., Jr. (1995). The psychology of nigrescence: Revising the Cross model. In J. G. Ponterotto, J. M. Casas, L. A. Suzuki, & C. M. Alexander (Eds.), Handbook of multicultural counseling (pp. 93-122). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.

D'Augelli, A.R. (1991). Gay men in college: Identity processes and adaptations. Journal of College Student Development, 32, 140-146.

D'Augelli, A.R. (1994). Identity development and sexual orientation: Toward a model of lesbian, gay and bisexual development. In E.J. Trickett, R.J. Watts, & D. Birman (Eds.), Human Diversity: Perspectives on People in Context (pp. 312-333). San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

Dilley, P. (2002). Queer man on campus: A history of non-heterosexual college men, 1945-2000. New York: RoutledgeFalmer.

Gamson, J. (2003). Gay media, inc.: Media structures, the new gay conglomerates, and collective sexual identities. In McCaughey, M. & Ayers, M. (Eds.), Cyberactivism: Online activism in theory and practice (pp. 255-278). New York: Routledge.

Gaunlett, D. (Ed.) (2000). Web.studies: Rewiring media studies for the digital age. New York: Oxford University Press.

Rhoads, R. (1994). Coming out in college: The struggle for a queer identity. Westport, CT: Bergin & Garvey.

Woodland, R. (2000). Queer spaces, modem boys, and Pagan statues. In Bell, D. & Kennedy, B.M. (Eds.) The cybercultures reader (pp. 416-431). London: Routledge.